my fridge is not operating at optimum capacity.

life is heartbreakingly wonderful.

emphasis on heartbreak.

i am having feelings and i don't know how to label them and there is no one on this coast i can talk to about them. so i guess i should pick up my phone and talk to someone on the other coast.

tonight in line there was a girl from the netherlands and she didn't know seattle was the west coast. so funny.

i'm having some dry itchy skin.

SOMEbody wouldn't let me sleep in his bed tonight and so i have to sleep in mine. only it has no sheets on it because they are in the dryer in the basement and i'm just not going to go down there at 5:30am to get them and then make my bed. i'm just not going to do it.

i am wearing all other people's clothes right now. i love it.

tonight i had the most amazing like, 12 minutes where i felt like my brain was covered in melted butter. yeah, i said it. it felt so good and i was with people i love and there was good music playing and there was dancing and loving and shared moments of eye contact and judging (the good kind...where i'm doing it and its not being done to me) and i was in on the joke. AND, i finally didn't feel like that girl. i watched someone else be that girl and i patted myself on the back for having gotten past that, at least for now. i'm not out of the funk yet, but i got a really nice respite from it tonight and i felt attractive and loved and in touch and part of things and that is so wonderful and so overdue.

i think i am going to have beautiful dreams tonight.